4. A Closure And An Ending
We met unplanned
through a mutual friend.
We wrote letters to each other;
this was our only romance,
well, a few poems I did send.
It wasn't soon after we met
we entered into THE commitment;
the biggest anyone has ever kept.
Due to our own desires and wants
our first child arrives.
The doctor said, I will always remember,
"Here is your football player"
He was ten pounds, fourteen and one half ounces,
that day in October of 1974.
I was, before we met,
on a great and wonderful adventure.
One that, most people, haven't kept.
The one about, "who am I"?
I gave that up, my choice,
for your suffering,
and lack of a voice;
for how you were brought up.
It was your exposure to drinking;
this dysfunction is so corrupt.
Such critical ways
that you had learned,
from your younger days.
I felt ridiculed, burned,
as my soul yearned
to recover the passion;
to let go of all the suspicion.
For nearly 21 years
and almost to the day.
I watched, held you, as the tears
of your childhood would stay
inside you; you blamed me too.
When I had little to do
with what you were going through.
We had two more children;
they are all wonderful.
My pride, it can't be taken.
This is what's so, there is no rule.
No convincing me, as a smile
is all you will see
as I share with you, all the while.
You went back to school,
at the end of your nurturing;
that some mothers do.
When the babies are feeding
of that I was so proud of you.
You learned how to analyze,
to ponder the causes of your dillemma.
to figure it out, you hoped to realize;
did you call it systemia?
Throughout your life...,
ah, no it's called systemic.
To me, it felt like a knife
poking here, poking there,
mostly, "below the belt", so unfair.
This is NOT what they taught you!
Don't practice this on your loved ones!
You turned me into
a guinea pig, I'm done.
As I watched the end
of all those years.
Trying, oh yes, crying,
not being perfect, your fears.
I walk away sighing
in my heart, mind and soul.
Written by Gary H...May 27/1997
Artists Credit: Palaceof Ice - by Paul Avisse
